“I feel so bad, I’m so sorry all of the time after I’ve stopped smoking. Is this normal?” Not too long ago I got this question from a friend who recently quit and in short the answer is yes – it is quite normal.
The short answer:
It is not uncommon to have a mood dive after a smoking cessation. In most cases it is best to find someone you can talk to, instead of isolating yourself.
The long answer:
Many people may start to feel sad and depressed when they say goodbye to cigarettes and it is perfectly normal. Sadness can be a part of the withdrawal symptoms, but there may be other reasons why you get upset. Sadness can often come as an unexpected after reaction when the initial pride and enthusiasm over the successful cessation has subsided, and the life as an ex-smoker begins to be, well everyday life. Although you were motivated to quit and stood firmly by your decision, you miss all the good things that you had when you were smoking. For instance in connection with conviviality and celebration.
For many, smoking has been part of their identity since adolescence, and you then should suddenly have had to learn to know yourself as an adult without smoking. If you previously have used the cigarettes to cope with difficult situations, such as if you were sad, stressed, annoyed or otherwise, it may now be difficult to cope with the same feelings without being able to take a cigarette. Perhaps you have almost put a lid on your emotions through smoking, and therefore the feelings may be experienced as more intense.
It may also contribute to the sadness when people around you now are accustomed to you being an ex-smoker and perhaps forget to give praise, support and recognition. A feeling that no one can relate to your situation – for instance how much you miss to smoke – can make matters worse.
What can you do?
It’s a good idea to find a few people you can talk to, instead of isolating yourself. In those dark moments, it is also important to remember that it is normal to get a mood dive but that it does not last.
Instead of blaming yourself that you experiences a loss, you can see your smoking cessation as a major upheaval in your life. A revolution, which in some ways feels as a loss and which takes time to adjust to and accept.
It is important to find new ways to be kind to yourself, while you gradually learn to adapt. Why not go for a walk, take a footbath, eat some fruit, hear good music, spending money on small gifts, etc. The content of the list depends on who you are – the important thing is to make sure to create small daily points of light and joy and above all, avoid be hard on yourself.
If you continue to feel depressed, it’s a good idea to have a talk with your doctor.
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